I have thought a long time about whether I would continue with this blog. Recently, by the will and mercy of Allah subhanhu wa ta ‘ala I married again. Never did I think I would ever want to marry again, after all, I loved my late husband entirely, and may Allah swt have mercy on his soul. Not only could I never imagine the prospect of loving someone else, but as a single mother of two daughters I couldn’t imagine taking the risk of putting someone new in my daughters’ lives. But, Allah swt is the turner of hearts and the best of planners. As a woman and a single mother in today’s climate, I was struggling, alhamdullilah. A simple shift in my du’a, asking Allah swt to make me content with whatever khayr He intended for me and that He keep me on the path that pleases Him most, that was my du’a in the build up to the last ten days of Dhul Hijjah. Alhamdullilah, my life took some fairly dedicated turns since then and Allah swt has made easy whatever I have done for His sake. But, that is not the point of this post.
What iddah means to me has continually changed since I was in my literal waiting period. Iddah literally means, ‘counting’. Since the death of someone I love so dearly, Allah swt woke me to the reality of my existence here and now I feel like I am constantly counting; counting my time. That waiting period not only changed me but defined so much of who I have become. Hence, I feel as if I will always be in that period, beyond iddah.
I am not entirely certain about the direction of this blog, but Insha’Allah I hope that it continues to bring benefit to myself, those who read it and those whom I have gained knowledge from. So, please stay tuned, let me know if there is anything you would like me to write about or feel free to just give your salaams.
May Allah swt reunite those of good in the gardens of perpetual goodness in Jannatul Firdaus and may He have mercy on all the Muslims who have tasted death before us.
Umm Summi xx